Staying friends through a split

As with every new year, it signals a new beginning where couples often start to assess their relationship status and may look to make changes of improvement. Often this can bring to light longstanding and underlying issues in relationships, in which divorce tends to be a solution. However, couples are increasingly being prescriptive about the type of divorce they want and its future outcomes.

To make an informed decision and to achieve an ideal outcome, separating couples should seek advice from a specialist divorce lawyer who can share all the options available to them, learn the pros and cons of each, and help them to visualise the outcome they would like. Opting for legal support early on is useful since it will avoid making rash decisions which may negatively affect the couples’ future, which is more likely to happen when individuals are in an emotionally charged state of mind.

Find shared goals

Choosing a collaborative law approach can help to avoid clashes and courtroom battles. Despite each party having their own lawyer, the focus is on finding common goals and working towards them rather than interests of individual clients. The collaborative process can also highlight shared goals. For example, when it comes to parenting a child or children and being a part of their lives going forward, they will need to stay connected. To help this connection, they must work towards agreeing financial terms and arrangements for their children

Consider arrangements for finances and parenting

Recognising common goals can also help the couple make decisions about how to divide their assets. For example, some couples may decide to postpone selling the family home while their child is still in school. Working out practical and financial solutions might help couples reach a reasonable and fair arrangement. It may also be beneficial to develop a detailed parenting plan that includes everything from school collections to supporting the child’s extra-curricular activities.

Choose mediation instead

Mediation services can also lead to evaluating whether divorce is the best option and if so help couples to reach their own amicable decisions. During emotional stress, it’s easy to get caught up in the divorce process and overlook that the marriage might not be over, although this doesn’t happen very often. Following legal reforms in England and Wales, there is much greater focus on mediation, which can help couples to achieve a fair and cost-efficient divorce resolution and, in some cases, avoiding the need to go court. The main changes include a requirement for most divorcing couples to meet with a mediator before making an application to the court. Before attending a divorce court hearing, they must also file a form to confirm that advance dispute resolution (ADR) has been considered, and if not, they must explain to the judge why not.

Key takeaways  

More couples are choosing to divorce as amicably as possible and demand for specialist mediation services and less contentious options, such as ‘collaborative law’, is on the rise. With this approach offering viable ways in which couples can work together to achieve the best outcomes for all – it is very much possible to split and stay friends. 

Here are some key considerations for couples going through a divorce to consider:

• Seek advice from a specialist divorce lawyer on the outset to find out about available options
• Consider mediation services – help reach an amicable settlement outside of court
• Work together to identify shared goals to help with planning for financial and parenting arrangements

For more information, please contact Maria Ramon.

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